Call Of Duty - Behaviour Handbook

Ever wanted to be a true COD player? Well, here's a step by step guide on how to become a stereotypical Call Of Duty player.

I) Learn your 'noobs.' Possibly one of the most important parts of being a Call Of Duty player, is to know all of your noobs off by heart. Make sure you pick people up on them all the time. Here's a list:

P90 Noob
Grenade Launcher Noob
Rocket Noob
Camper Noob
Marty Noob
Last Stand Noob

Here's a method to remember them. Ask yourself:

Is it a general game feature?

If the answer to that question is

Yes

Then feel free to insult the player for it.

(Eg: The P90 is a powerful gun, however it isn't a hack, it's a game feature, this gives you the right to bitch at people for using it)

II) If someone kills you, it's un-acceptable. For this reason, you are free to insult them. Use proper vocabulary such as "noob" and "u suk". It is also advisable to mention one's mother to up the insult and turn it into a full on flame war. Remember, it's Call Of Duty, which is a war game. The opponent has absolutely no right to kill you.

If your opponent is better than you, a higher level or has killed you more times, it is advisable to attack them verbally to create a rise amongst players.

III) If you are on the receiving end of flame, try replying with the simple phrase "cry moar." This will get the attacker so wound up, he will most probably relieve himself in his underwear, but carry on playing none the less.

Here's your target age:

Enjoy yourself on Call Of Duty. Don't get too worked up though, it's only a game :)

How to make a YouTube comment

Making a YouTube comment takes a surprising amount of skill. A lot of people think they can just go ahead and write whatever comes to mind first, but in fact you cannot.

It's not all bad though, because I've dedicated this post to help people be able to make a fully qualified YouTube comment.

Step 1: Find a target. By this, I don't mean "find a video," I mean "find the person you want to pick on." Normally, this is someone who has already submitted a reply to the same video.

How do I pick? - Well, this is fairly easy when you get the hang of it. Look at all of the comment and pick which random unsuspecting YouTube user you want to hurl an explosion of foul abuse towards.

Once you have picked, you can go to step 3.

Step 3: Find a reason to abuse. The reason can be anything, but here are a few suggestions:

Race, Nationality, Gender, Name. If all else fails, you could do what most pro YouTube flamers do, and just go with the whole "you cnt spell, ur grammor sux" approach. This involves emotionally 'bringing down' your target for having bad spelling or grammar. This is normally due to them being non native English speakers. It's always a good laugh to take the mickey out of foreigners, even though chances are: you can't speak their language. :)

This is the most important step. The topic will be the centre of your soul crushing experience, the stronger the topic, the more you can intentionally emotionally scar them.

Step 4: Start firing un-needed and abusive comments towards your target without a thought to people's feelings or the effect it could have on 3rd party viewers witnessing the petty squabble. Get right in and destroy your opponent with hurtful comments about their race or nationality.

That. Is there the fun really kicks in.

Enjoy spreading hatred amongst your fellow human beings :)

Double posting. Its a massive deal

There are millions of active forums on the internet. Most of which contain members who have a sheer hatred of "Double Posters." Just to explain briefly what double posters are.

When you create a new topic on a forum, whether it's to cast an opinion, post a tutorial or moan about something, other people have the option of replying in that same thread. A double post, is if someone replies twice in quick succession. Or, if someone posts twice without waiting for someone to post one in the middle.

The double poster is in red

Bob: Hello, this is the thread. Do you all agree?
Harry: Oh yes, I agree.
Larry: Me too
Larry: I totally agree

Yes, Larry just double posted. So what happens next?

Well, the punishment for double posting will vary from forum to forum. The punishment ranges from nothing to being banned, YES, being banned for posting two posts.

Ok, maybe over time, it might become apparent why some people might find this annoying, but it isn't - however, the crime of the century, and shouldn't become a massive deal.

Some extremely intelligent 2 year olds have come up with death as a solution.

But then again, the maturity in that picture never fails to amuse me.

So if you do get banned for double posting. Chances are you were victim of an extremely bored moderator, or a power hungry Admin who has to shift his weight a bit to show his "not scared of you" members. 

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if it means clicking the "post" button twice within 10 minutes. It isn't the biggest deal, but people do like to make it one.

Bottom line: grow up?