A brief message to all Dr Who fans.

Dear All Dr Who fans who repeatedly post allegedly funny Dr Who related banners and posters all over the internet.

These banners keep winding up all over the world wide web. Facebook is the worst website hit. (Hasn't been hit the worst, it's just the worst website out of them all, that's been hit)
Allow me to make something extremely clear to you. Banners such as this one:

ARE NOT FUNNY!

Being slightly more precise. They hold absolutely 0 comical value. They are merely specs of futile, - no good, space dust. Landing pointlessly on the moon of uselessness. 

Take a look at the picture you're about to post. Is it funny? Is there a reason for it? Will anyone actually look at it and think: WOW, I'm so glad that person uploaded it, and broadcasted it to everyone in their friends list, this did me a whole lot of good today.

For all who don't know. Dr Who is an overrated program in which an eccentric and medically gifted time traveler wizzes around planets in his telephone box, and zaps the bad guys. - It's extremely far fetched. No surprises, it's only hanging on by a thread because it was popular in the 60s. - In short, it's trash.

So most people will say: SO DON'T WATCH IT? ... I DON'T WATCH IT!! BUT:

AGAIN:

NOT FUNNY AT ALL! NO NO NO NO NO NO.


And as far as copyright goes.... I don't claim that I own the above pictures. And thank god that I don't.


STOP!

Facebook is so bloody boring

You can look at it from so many different angles, but the end result will always be the same. Facebook is so damn boring.

In my bored - "2 AM, Can't be bothered to go to bed" - state, I decided to scroll through the good old Facebook news feed to find nothing but drivvel. Infact, now I feel like I could infact fall asleep. I recommend Facebook to insomniacs. I notice the people who spend hours and hours sitting at Facebook, updating their statuses, commenting on pictures, doing other things - but then rushing back to update their status to explain what they did just somewhere else. That in itself is boring and for the reader, it's boring almost to the point of suicide.

It's so bloody boring, that when I googled "Facebook is boring" before writing this article, the results that came up were Facebook pages called "boring." I'm not joking. People actually made Facebook pages called Boring... HOW BORING CAN YOU GET?

And if thats not enough, you could play on FarmVille, now that is one bloody boring game. Grow crops 'n crap, you may aswell go outside, pick some grass and shove it.. BoOoOoRING

Infact, I hope you found this article boring. Maybe if you did, you could return to Facebook and post even more boring stuff for the readers and socializers to be bored at

Now aint that boring ;)

Social Leap

Well, the world has taken it's leap.

Social networks have gone from holding a mild unimportance, to making me want to dig my veins out with a plastic cup and scream out in agony. It makes me want to to cry, stupefied at the ignorance of people, and the way the prioritise themselves.

But then I look, from a distance, and laugh at their misfortune!




And I do wish  people would stop posting random 3 worded semi-sentences which clearly only relate to a topic knowledgeable by one to two persons. Meaning 300 people see it, and 1 understands it. Seems like a strange thing to want to post to everyone! And by the way, I'm assuming that the two likes are the two people who know the meaning of the message conveyed.



And of course, there's the messages that no one is supposed to be able to understand. You may as well sign up for a daily cryptic crossword over at the daily telegraph.


However, all that said; facebook has proven to be useful over the years:

Thanks to facebook, and facebook's BlackBerry app, I was able to oversee someone's publicized decision over which seat they're going to sit on. 5 people enjoyed this :)



I also love the fact that it fills up my news feed with status updates. That's just so great.

It's also amazes me, how people have started using their phones, to update their statuses whilst going for a walk.

It's true! I couldn't be bothered to print screen, crop, paint over, save, upload blah blah, so I just drew an accurate diagram!



A, Maybe it's something I'll never understand, but facebook are having a field day!

Call Of Duty - Behaviour Handbook

Ever wanted to be a true COD player? Well, here's a step by step guide on how to become a stereotypical Call Of Duty player.

I) Learn your 'noobs.' Possibly one of the most important parts of being a Call Of Duty player, is to know all of your noobs off by heart. Make sure you pick people up on them all the time. Here's a list:

P90 Noob
Grenade Launcher Noob
Rocket Noob
Camper Noob
Marty Noob
Last Stand Noob

Here's a method to remember them. Ask yourself:

Is it a general game feature?

If the answer to that question is

Yes

Then feel free to insult the player for it.

(Eg: The P90 is a powerful gun, however it isn't a hack, it's a game feature, this gives you the right to bitch at people for using it)

II) If someone kills you, it's un-acceptable. For this reason, you are free to insult them. Use proper vocabulary such as "noob" and "u suk". It is also advisable to mention one's mother to up the insult and turn it into a full on flame war. Remember, it's Call Of Duty, which is a war game. The opponent has absolutely no right to kill you.

If your opponent is better than you, a higher level or has killed you more times, it is advisable to attack them verbally to create a rise amongst players.

III) If you are on the receiving end of flame, try replying with the simple phrase "cry moar." This will get the attacker so wound up, he will most probably relieve himself in his underwear, but carry on playing none the less.

Here's your target age:

Enjoy yourself on Call Of Duty. Don't get too worked up though, it's only a game :)

How to make a YouTube comment

Making a YouTube comment takes a surprising amount of skill. A lot of people think they can just go ahead and write whatever comes to mind first, but in fact you cannot.

It's not all bad though, because I've dedicated this post to help people be able to make a fully qualified YouTube comment.

Step 1: Find a target. By this, I don't mean "find a video," I mean "find the person you want to pick on." Normally, this is someone who has already submitted a reply to the same video.

How do I pick? - Well, this is fairly easy when you get the hang of it. Look at all of the comment and pick which random unsuspecting YouTube user you want to hurl an explosion of foul abuse towards.

Once you have picked, you can go to step 3.

Step 3: Find a reason to abuse. The reason can be anything, but here are a few suggestions:

Race, Nationality, Gender, Name. If all else fails, you could do what most pro YouTube flamers do, and just go with the whole "you cnt spell, ur grammor sux" approach. This involves emotionally 'bringing down' your target for having bad spelling or grammar. This is normally due to them being non native English speakers. It's always a good laugh to take the mickey out of foreigners, even though chances are: you can't speak their language. :)

This is the most important step. The topic will be the centre of your soul crushing experience, the stronger the topic, the more you can intentionally emotionally scar them.

Step 4: Start firing un-needed and abusive comments towards your target without a thought to people's feelings or the effect it could have on 3rd party viewers witnessing the petty squabble. Get right in and destroy your opponent with hurtful comments about their race or nationality.

That. Is there the fun really kicks in.

Enjoy spreading hatred amongst your fellow human beings :)

Double posting. Its a massive deal

There are millions of active forums on the internet. Most of which contain members who have a sheer hatred of "Double Posters." Just to explain briefly what double posters are.

When you create a new topic on a forum, whether it's to cast an opinion, post a tutorial or moan about something, other people have the option of replying in that same thread. A double post, is if someone replies twice in quick succession. Or, if someone posts twice without waiting for someone to post one in the middle.

The double poster is in red

Bob: Hello, this is the thread. Do you all agree?
Harry: Oh yes, I agree.
Larry: Me too
Larry: I totally agree

Yes, Larry just double posted. So what happens next?

Well, the punishment for double posting will vary from forum to forum. The punishment ranges from nothing to being banned, YES, being banned for posting two posts.

Ok, maybe over time, it might become apparent why some people might find this annoying, but it isn't - however, the crime of the century, and shouldn't become a massive deal.

Some extremely intelligent 2 year olds have come up with death as a solution.

But then again, the maturity in that picture never fails to amuse me.

So if you do get banned for double posting. Chances are you were victim of an extremely bored moderator, or a power hungry Admin who has to shift his weight a bit to show his "not scared of you" members. 

Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if it means clicking the "post" button twice within 10 minutes. It isn't the biggest deal, but people do like to make it one.

Bottom line: grow up?

Windows Live Messenger: 2011

Well! We're finally back. Yeah, it's been a while since the last post (21st century PC yap!)

I felt the need to post about the new Windows Live Messenger.

The new version of the popular WLM client is out. Yeah, it's beautiful. It has a whole new look, it has multiple new features, and it's just over all: BRILLIANT.

Let me run you through a few of the new features.

1. You can no longer change your display name. This - if you ask me, is the best feature of them all! Completely remove the user's ability to change their display name! +1
I believe that Microsoft are in a rather... Exploratory phase. I think that the head of the WLM department wanted to find out what life would be like if everyone usied their first and last names as a display name. How exciting! :) To make a long story short, "[XGamerz] MarK - Playing: Call Of Duty 4" has been transformed into: "Mark Smith"

2. Take all the bloated crap that came as aditions in the last version, and throw them all into the client itself. This seems like a better solution to me. All of the unwanted stuff that the user doesn't want to see, has now been shoved infront of your face whether you like it or not. Take a look: (click the picture to see in full size)

It was a great idea doing this in my view!

3. Layout! This is superb! The layout is frankly beautiful. They've gone for the more "bloated" approach, and I really admire them for that. If it's good enough, people will wait, right? Well, now they will be waiting a good twenty minutes for the thing to load. +1 Microsoft.


Don't settle for this rubbish.

Use Windows Live Messenger 2009 or try something non-microsoft:

Pidgin
aMSN
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